OH, also

I have a ludicrous procrastination problem, during my internet adventures i stumbled on the fact that the last hanging in the UK was in the 60s and wasn't abolished until the 90s, definitely thought that shit was long gone. I'm sorry if this is standard information, i'm a foreigner so i don't know these things. So for the past few hours i've been reading the history of UK hangings, i can't wait to impress people with my awesome facts. Who doesn't want to hear about people being hung.

brosurs back, tell a friend

   I've come to actually hate writing "blogs" because i automatically sound like a pretentious dick head. So i've had a nice long break to try and control my urge to write like a cock, but now i'm back. Also i've been in a negative mood since moving down to brighton, and now i'm back to being positive, angst is so not in right now.  

   Other than writing blogs there is another thing i'm shit at: being a student. I've managed to spend almost my entire monthly "allowance" in two weeks, which means i will be scraping the crumbs off the carpet for the remainder of the month. And its not that i've been shopping for super rad things, but that i've almost literally eaten my money. That fucking american diner with its oreo milkshakes, vegi burgers, and tom & jerry re-runs, how is a yankee doodle to resist? Jimmy and i have become local yokels, its a sad truth i know.

   I'm going to blame this on my "house mates," who just pile up the sink with dirty dishes that they don't plan on washing for at least 3 days. So my bedroom sink is now being used to wash my dirty dishes. So of course that makes me not want to cook/go into the kitchen at all, so the diner is my only option for survival. Der.  AND not only does this force me to go to the diner, but also forces me to restrain my self from rampaging when i find my bowels/glasses/cutlery filled with shit and left on the counter, bastards. Don't use my shit, or if you do wash it up and pretend like you haven't used it, derrrrrrrrr, standard. Also, for some reason they think its a good idea to pour noodles and other food items into the sink and leave them there to rot. Sad thing is there is not a single male in my kitchen, just sexy females, so i can't even blame it on gross boys. K bitch fest over, promise. 

I hate reading. 

So Much Hope Buried Underneath Tragedy

We [i generalise] tend to find so much comfort in our own 'misery.' Perhaps too many people are resorting to their own discomfort in order to find comfort with themselves. Almost to say we wallow in our own sadness for the sole purpose of self-consolation? What could be more rewarding. Is this why the majority of people seem to be walking through a cloud of gloom? For the reward of self-pity and consolation? Perhaps its all just to feel emotion, after all emotion makes us feel alive, no matter what end of the spectrum it happens to be. 

This is Where We Are

   Time is definitely a thing of the past, at least for the moment. Hence the standstill these posts have come to. Well, that, and the lack of anything remotely worthy to write about. I've come to notice that these 'blogs' are media through which so called 'bloggers' can complain about things they think happen to only themselves, or phenomenons only they have the ability to notice. This is probably the reason why i can't seem to think of anything to say at the moment, as i have nothing to complain about. Sure, the government in the UK is shit, but is it really different anywhere else you look? And yes there seems to be an infinite number of problems the world is facing; methicillin-resistant bacteria, malaria spreading like wild fire, natural ecosystems crumbling, we all know the situations. This world, heavily riddled with corruption and hate, is where we live. Why waste the precious time we have living by sitting around complaining about it? This is what we have to work with. I'll do my part, this is all i have to offer. I have absolutely nothing to complain about, and this is all i have to say. So shut the fuck up and stop your bitching. 

University Thoughts

    Well, a few thoughts have changed within the past 20 days or so. As of October this year i will be living in Brighton. A recent change in heart had me ask (beg) Sussex to consider allowing me to start studying there this fall. It surprisingly didn't take much begging at all, and i will be starting this year. So now i'm stuck with this massively cheesy smile plastered across my face. 

  My original idea was to take as much time as possible away from school, and anything remotely educational. In fact i was adamant a gap year was my only option for 'happiness'. But now i realise all i want to do is learn. I've been finding myself trying to research everything that pops into my small mind, probably none of it of any use to me at all. But the useless knowledge seems to bring a certain comfort. That comfort is probably also the reason for the semi-formal writing style i've involuntarily adopted for these posts. How is it that school still rules my life even though i've happily escaped it?

  On another note starting this year allows me to get out of the house, and allows me to put off getting a job.  And of course the best part is how excited jimmy is about the change. Almost more than i am. Possible? Roll on October. Again, life could not be radder if it tried. 

Nostalgia

  18 years under my belt as it stands, I have my future to think about, but it seems for the moment all i can think about is my past, which from my reflections has been a pretty good one. Its strange thinking about how different you would be if you hadn't had moved here or there, met those that you did, or learn what you did. Right now, in the present, i can't see how my choices or my friendships shape who i am. But looking back at the past i can see just how much everything i did has made me who i am. I do silly things sometimes, and i can't always keep everyone happy, but i'm incredibly happy with every choice and every friendship i've ever made. I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have myself any other way.

Sea Stories

   A bittersweet day. Bitter because these were the last three dives of my stay, sweet because how it ended. A 6 o'clock start to the day, but the few missed hours of sleep proved in our favour as a couple of white tip reef sharks came to greet us, although they were quite far below us, but a perfect place to watch their graceful movements. Along with the sharks, 2 metres of Napoleon Ras graced us with it's presence. Its sheer size and beauty were all, of course, lost on film. The second dive of the day held nothing too spectacular, although just being in the sea is good enough for me. 

   Though the dive itself was not the most exciting, the speed boat ride back to the hotel proved amazing. Just looking out at where the sky touches the sea i saw fins breaking the service, and started pointing madly. The driver seemed to notice and sped off in the direction of the fins, as we got closer bottlenose dolphins appeared under the surface, swimming straight up to the boat, jumping up straight in front of our eyes. At least 20 of these magestic creatures all around the boat, my instinct was to grab the camera and lean over the front of the boat, and i did. All i had to do was put my hand down and touch the surface and they would swim right up, letting my hand brush against their smooth skin. I managed to snap a few photos [above], despite the fast up and down motions of the boat and how quickly they jumped and played in the water. Difficult business! But had to be done. This was definitely an experience that will stay in my heart next to last years whale shark. Everything is so beautiful.