can't make a hoe a house wife

this is a lie, i am the best housewife

vegan cheesecake/cake rules, especially mine, dah.

california

i miss you so much

still life at the penguin cafe

K so this is the only, slightly fuzzy, photographic evidence of my life as a 12/13 year old "ballerina." I definitely look older and more sophisticated than i do now, how upsetting. I thought i'd take the time to be a total faggario and reminisce things i used to love, such as the still life at the penguin cafe. Basically, it 100% rules. Its a ballet, but an awesome one. I took jimlad to see it in january, he loved it. I totally had tears in my eyes the whole time but that's besides the point, jimmy actually loved a ballet. I remember being 3 and dancing to the video on my granny's carpet. How cute. Its about endangered animals or whatever so it has a bunch of penguins, monkeys, mice, rams, "skunk fleas," and zebras dancing around to the coolest soundtrack. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. Speaking of soundtracks i need to get my hands on the band of brothers one...anyway i'm proud to admit that still life is the coolest thing ever and it still makes me massively happy. That is all. Here is a fuzy summery of the whole thing for your enjoyment. YEAH!

i got so much trouble on my minnddd

I need a skill/talent FAST. Seriously, everyone seems to be able to sing, act, dance, play a musical instrument of some sort, take photos, or what ever. So I think I'm in desperate need of a talent. But I'm not really sure where to start. I used to dance nonstop and compete all over the US, I suppose I was pretty good for my age or what ever. I'll dig out some photos of the glory days soon. But then I moved here and couldn't be bothered anymore, awesome. I think I'm finally ready to regularly attend the gym, maybe I'll develop some sort of talent from that.

I apologise for the completely random photograph of the imperial war museum. I'm totally holding valentines day roses courtesy of jimlad, how cute. I just don't like posting without a picture, it just looks nicer. That was an awesome day, i wish i had posted about that...OH WELL.

its complicated being a wizard

Portugal the man are all i want to listen to for the rest of my life. Quick life update: Jimmy and I are now happily settled into our wonderful house in brighton, please come hang the fuck out, I have an ACTUAL job interview this monday, and um, I'm poor. Finally recovering from a severe attack of low self esteem that occurred some time last week, awesome. Oh and i seriously believe my tan is already fading, that's pretty much it.

egypt 09

Shit, diving is awesome. Totally thinking of scrapping this human science bull shit and going into marine biology. But I like humans too, maybe that's what my masters will be. Anyway, egypt, at a mean of 40 degrees, was ridiculously hot. dah. But for some reason this year I was able to hack the heat and stayed outside most of the time, racking up a pretty deep tan and probably some skin cancer. AWESOME, its fine, I'm forcing jimmy to get his moles checked with me, that's love.
I think this was the year that seriously showed me how much I actually love diving. Before I think I loved it because I got to see sharks and other superrad aquatic creatures, but this time we really didn't see anything bigger than the occasional giant barracuda (above) and napoleon, sad I know. So I suppose I realised that I love diving for diving, whether I see sharks or not. We were only there for a week but went on a pretty substantial amount of dives, including a night dive, which I’d never done before. I seriously think that was one of the best dives I’ve ever done, no reef sharks on the prowl, but I saw some awesome things I’d never seen before (snakes, a large amount of eels/sting rays, crabs, lobsters, cuttlefish, etc).
I actually wasn’t looking forward to going back to the hotel we stayed in last year because the amount of things they do for you actually makes the ‘experience’ awkward. They do so much for you that I wouldn’t be surprised if they have assisted a couple of able adults in the toilets. No seriously, it gets to the point where they want to do so much for you that you’re holding back on saying fuck off I can do it myself. Having said that it totally has the best dive center, ever. Although they put my in an XL wetsuit, INSULTED. Its fine, now we’re thinking of going back in October, which would be rad, obviously.

good bye park village, hello brighton centre

positively positive

So much for the January blues, its March and i'm posi as fuck. I've always known that i've been lucky my whole life, but it really has been hitting me lately. My life is rad, and i'm going to work hard to keep it this way. My second macbook in 3 years has once again "fucked me over," in all honesty it was a good thing. Life without access to the internet for two weeks has been totally awesome, it just gave me the time to focus on what i needed to: living.
In other news, the deposit for my totally awesome house in Brighton has been put down, and i'm now an "official tenant," apparently, despite not moving in until July. July really couldn't come soon enough. As i'm the "girl" amongst 3 dudes, i got dibs on the best room, but for the hefty price of dish washing duty. However, we have an actual dish washing machine, so i totally got the room for free. Gutted. Its literally up the street from the pier and Taj grocery store (incredible), and directly across the street from 'the level,' an awesomely grassy park equipped with one of the best skate parks (says Jimmy) and play ground. Alright that might be enough boasting for the time being.
I've become extremely carried away with this 30 things about me bs, and have completed ONE HUNDRED AND ONE things about me. Insane, but killing yourself over 101 facts has been mildly enjoyable. This totally fulfilling read can be found here.

30 totally awesome things about me

I have finally given in to this '25 things about me' craze, but i've decided to make it a little harder for myself and try to think of 30 things. Its the 'new year' so it can't really hurt to write a few things about yourself down. 

1. i've lived in Brighton, San Francisco, New York, and London 

2. i study human sciences at Sussex University

3. i hope to narrow it down to just neuroscience or molecular genetics 

4. i think i want to be a neuroscientist working from a psychological perspective 

5. i think scuba diving is the best thing i do 

6. i have loved whale sharks since i was 5, and filled my mask up with tears when i finally saw one in the red sea. hands down one of the best days of my life 

7. i used to be terrified (100%) when my dad pretended to be a shark in the pool, now i get disappointed when i don't see one. 

8. i'm half Australian, half Welsh, born in Brighton, but grew up in America. Identity crisis? 

9. i complain about being 'fat' while eating apple strudel covered in a ridiculous amount of ice cream, but i swear we all do that right?

10. i really, really love cats 

11. and sharks, incase you didn't get that. 

12. i don't understand how some people don't 'believe' in evolution

13. i find it so difficult to sleep when i'm alone, i just lay there worrying. apparently its a girl thing?

14. i constantly compare myself to girls, and always come out on the bottom 

15. that's probably the reason for my annoyingly low self esteem?

16. someone once tried to convince me love only existed as a concept, and humans could never actually attain it, and i believed it. what TOTAL bull shit

17. i rarely think girls are "sluts," i really, really hate that word. i think its unfair against girls. cus it is, der

18. i have the most ridiculous accent, most call it american, some call it trans-atlantic, i call it annoying

19. i only look in the mirror when i truly have to 

20. i seriously don't find any males on tv/in films attractive. i used to have a cush on Dicaprio, but i was eight. and then i had a slight thing for James Mcavoy, but only in atonement. now i have a slight thing for James Sampson, harhar i'm funny. 

21. i find a lot of females on tv attractive though, mainly the cast of the hills, oh and Kiera Knightly i think she's a total babe 

22. I generally find girls more attractive than boys, but that can normally be put down to hair and makeup 

23. i'm heterosexual  

24. i've never been to a club 

25. i've never been drunk

26. i really love learning things, but i hate doing the work 

27. i cry every time at the ending to A Little Princess, seriously 

28. i get really nervous about my future, some times i wonder if i'm doing a degree just to end up as someone's secretary 

29. drug/alcohol/meat free... 

30. i have 5 main best friends in my life, its awesome

make money money, make money money monayyy

Over the past week i have managed to spend almost 200 pounds. How exactly that happened, i'm not quite sure, i just know the majority was spent on food. Seriously. The shit excuse we have for a fridge is now filled up with mainly my shit, and i've pretty much conquered the entire freezer, which isn't as ruthless as it sounds because there's another one. Jimmy and i stumbled on the world's best grocery store: Taj. If you are vegan, you would die of happiness. 8 flavours of Sheese, vegan shortbread, banana cake, and the ultimate vegetarian and vegan burritos, oh and 100% american mountain dew. How i didn't drain my entire bank account in there i don't know. In short: its awesome. I have also bought about 6 apple strudels and a lot of ice cream, i have actually substituted dinner with apple strudel. Tonight we plan on eating some asparagus, what good little children we are.

Snow

Brighton finally got some much needed snow! After staying up till 4AM last night watching the snow fall and jimmy running outside to throw snow balls at people's windows in nothing but mosh shorts and a shirt, i had to get up early for a 9AM lecture (gross). But of course me being the laziest person there is, i turned the alarm clock off without Jimmy knowing. To my disappointment he woke up at 7 anyway, forcing me to get up. Then i heard the most exciting news ever: snow day. Have not heard those words since New York, they are incredibly missed. This was officially the earliest we had ever been up, so we decided to make our way into town, forgetting that england comes to a stand still when the smallest amount of snow falls. Surprisingly, we got lucky the entire day, and didn't even have to pay the train faire. We made our way down to the diner, which hadn't opened yet (we were shocked), and decided to check out GBK. Which also was not open yet. Amazing. GBK happened to be situated next to 'punktured' piercing studio, and of course Jimmy remembered me talking about getting my belly button pierced. I now have a pierced navel, and it hurt (way worse than nose if you ask me). Then we had a lovely lunch at JB's, and apple strudel while watching band of brothers. All in all, we had a totally awesome day.

Holiday Spirit

Christmas has definitely been worse and better than this one. After spending almost the entire month of december eating nothing but 28p noodles, i might have gone a little over board with my christmas shopping. In an attempt to bring the christmas cheer back into my mom and dad's day, i decided to be santa for the night. Unfortunately they woke up, despite setting my alarm to 4AM and being as quiet as i can. I tried right? Point is, they loved it. Fab Fi even tried on the pretty undies katie and i bought her, she's hot. The day went sort of down hill from there. Seeing as i'm the oldest, i was forced to stay in the kitchen all day scrubbing the horrible meat and grease stained baking trays, lovely. The worst part was, they "forgot" to inform me that it was dessert time, and ate everything without me. Everything. On the plus side, my dad totally promised to do something different next year, aka anything that doesn't include the extended family. I miss when christmas was all about new barbie dolls. 

So, christmas day wasn't all that it used to be, but i'd say over all my 'holidays' have been rad. Jimmy and i went ice skating around the tower of london, sounds awesome if you leave out the part of me almost crying due to fears of falling over and getting ultra wet, or getting my fingers cut off by other skaters. Romantic? Then we had pizza express, can't get much better than that. I couldn't wait to give him my ridiculous amounts of presents, so 5 days before christmas we did the whole "gift exchange" thing. He pretty much killed my presents with his. Can't really complain can i?! Back to Brighton in a week! I love it there

Kitchen Drama

I thought i'd give a taster of what 'my' kitchen is like. This is why i haven't gone in there since the first week. JB's diner you saved me. Last night Jimmy and i did a massive clean, i've taken back all my stolen cutlery, plates, pots, pans, and glasses and am now keeping them in my room. And using my sink to wash up plates. It could be worse!

OH, also

I have a ludicrous procrastination problem, during my internet adventures i stumbled on the fact that the last hanging in the UK was in the 60s and wasn't abolished until the 90s, definitely thought that shit was long gone. I'm sorry if this is standard information, i'm a foreigner so i don't know these things. So for the past few hours i've been reading the history of UK hangings, i can't wait to impress people with my awesome facts. Who doesn't want to hear about people being hung.

brosurs back, tell a friend

   I've come to actually hate writing "blogs" because i automatically sound like a pretentious dick head. So i've had a nice long break to try and control my urge to write like a cock, but now i'm back. Also i've been in a negative mood since moving down to brighton, and now i'm back to being positive, angst is so not in right now.  

   Other than writing blogs there is another thing i'm shit at: being a student. I've managed to spend almost my entire monthly "allowance" in two weeks, which means i will be scraping the crumbs off the carpet for the remainder of the month. And its not that i've been shopping for super rad things, but that i've almost literally eaten my money. That fucking american diner with its oreo milkshakes, vegi burgers, and tom & jerry re-runs, how is a yankee doodle to resist? Jimmy and i have become local yokels, its a sad truth i know.

   I'm going to blame this on my "house mates," who just pile up the sink with dirty dishes that they don't plan on washing for at least 3 days. So my bedroom sink is now being used to wash my dirty dishes. So of course that makes me not want to cook/go into the kitchen at all, so the diner is my only option for survival. Der.  AND not only does this force me to go to the diner, but also forces me to restrain my self from rampaging when i find my bowels/glasses/cutlery filled with shit and left on the counter, bastards. Don't use my shit, or if you do wash it up and pretend like you haven't used it, derrrrrrrrr, standard. Also, for some reason they think its a good idea to pour noodles and other food items into the sink and leave them there to rot. Sad thing is there is not a single male in my kitchen, just sexy females, so i can't even blame it on gross boys. K bitch fest over, promise. 

I hate reading. 

So Much Hope Buried Underneath Tragedy

We [i generalise] tend to find so much comfort in our own 'misery.' Perhaps too many people are resorting to their own discomfort in order to find comfort with themselves. Almost to say we wallow in our own sadness for the sole purpose of self-consolation? What could be more rewarding. Is this why the majority of people seem to be walking through a cloud of gloom? For the reward of self-pity and consolation? Perhaps its all just to feel emotion, after all emotion makes us feel alive, no matter what end of the spectrum it happens to be. 

This is Where We Are

   Time is definitely a thing of the past, at least for the moment. Hence the standstill these posts have come to. Well, that, and the lack of anything remotely worthy to write about. I've come to notice that these 'blogs' are media through which so called 'bloggers' can complain about things they think happen to only themselves, or phenomenons only they have the ability to notice. This is probably the reason why i can't seem to think of anything to say at the moment, as i have nothing to complain about. Sure, the government in the UK is shit, but is it really different anywhere else you look? And yes there seems to be an infinite number of problems the world is facing; methicillin-resistant bacteria, malaria spreading like wild fire, natural ecosystems crumbling, we all know the situations. This world, heavily riddled with corruption and hate, is where we live. Why waste the precious time we have living by sitting around complaining about it? This is what we have to work with. I'll do my part, this is all i have to offer. I have absolutely nothing to complain about, and this is all i have to say. So shut the fuck up and stop your bitching. 

University Thoughts

    Well, a few thoughts have changed within the past 20 days or so. As of October this year i will be living in Brighton. A recent change in heart had me ask (beg) Sussex to consider allowing me to start studying there this fall. It surprisingly didn't take much begging at all, and i will be starting this year. So now i'm stuck with this massively cheesy smile plastered across my face. 

  My original idea was to take as much time as possible away from school, and anything remotely educational. In fact i was adamant a gap year was my only option for 'happiness'. But now i realise all i want to do is learn. I've been finding myself trying to research everything that pops into my small mind, probably none of it of any use to me at all. But the useless knowledge seems to bring a certain comfort. That comfort is probably also the reason for the semi-formal writing style i've involuntarily adopted for these posts. How is it that school still rules my life even though i've happily escaped it?

  On another note starting this year allows me to get out of the house, and allows me to put off getting a job.  And of course the best part is how excited jimmy is about the change. Almost more than i am. Possible? Roll on October. Again, life could not be radder if it tried. 

Nostalgia

  18 years under my belt as it stands, I have my future to think about, but it seems for the moment all i can think about is my past, which from my reflections has been a pretty good one. Its strange thinking about how different you would be if you hadn't had moved here or there, met those that you did, or learn what you did. Right now, in the present, i can't see how my choices or my friendships shape who i am. But looking back at the past i can see just how much everything i did has made me who i am. I do silly things sometimes, and i can't always keep everyone happy, but i'm incredibly happy with every choice and every friendship i've ever made. I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have myself any other way.

Sea Stories

   A bittersweet day. Bitter because these were the last three dives of my stay, sweet because how it ended. A 6 o'clock start to the day, but the few missed hours of sleep proved in our favour as a couple of white tip reef sharks came to greet us, although they were quite far below us, but a perfect place to watch their graceful movements. Along with the sharks, 2 metres of Napoleon Ras graced us with it's presence. Its sheer size and beauty were all, of course, lost on film. The second dive of the day held nothing too spectacular, although just being in the sea is good enough for me. 

   Though the dive itself was not the most exciting, the speed boat ride back to the hotel proved amazing. Just looking out at where the sky touches the sea i saw fins breaking the service, and started pointing madly. The driver seemed to notice and sped off in the direction of the fins, as we got closer bottlenose dolphins appeared under the surface, swimming straight up to the boat, jumping up straight in front of our eyes. At least 20 of these magestic creatures all around the boat, my instinct was to grab the camera and lean over the front of the boat, and i did. All i had to do was put my hand down and touch the surface and they would swim right up, letting my hand brush against their smooth skin. I managed to snap a few photos [above], despite the fast up and down motions of the boat and how quickly they jumped and played in the water. Difficult business! But had to be done. This was definitely an experience that will stay in my heart next to last years whale shark. Everything is so beautiful.